No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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