Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
