You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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