If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
