after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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