all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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