Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am one with the molecules
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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