Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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