when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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