return my video game
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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