Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize