i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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