He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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