True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
