I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
