I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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