Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
