the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
