Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
