Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
