I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think people are normalizing furries
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
