talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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