I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
