if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize