What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
