very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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