Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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