He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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