He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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