my shit smells like andre
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
