i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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