I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
