i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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