sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
