the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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