I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
