I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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