I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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