It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My pussy is not your playground.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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