i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
