I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
