my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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