Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
