I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
