I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
