is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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