I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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