Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
