I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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