Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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