i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
