dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
As shirtless as possible
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
