she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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