rhymes with "ouble enetration"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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