you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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