She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
