I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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