Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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