at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
