I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
