I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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