there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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