Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
