Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
