You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
