So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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