I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize