just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
