What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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