honey bunches of taint.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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