"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Vodka?
Forever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
